Pace Cars and True Love...

I get lost in thought often. This tends to happen while I am doing mundane things, things that require more muscle memory than anything else. For instance? Driving. (Yes, I realize driving in more than just muscle memory. I do pay attention. Almost always...)
I think this happens to most people. The repetitious movements, the soothing sounds and motion of driving down the freeway. Assuming children aren't screaming, of course.
This is when I had the great "Pacer" epiphany.
I live pretty far out there, so its not unusual to be the only car on a long stretch of road. There I was, lost in thought, when I happened to glance at the speedometer. I was going 90 mph. Speed limit? 60 mph. How did I get to be driving so fast? My husband will tell you that its my stubborn refusal to use cruise control.
Nope.
There were no other cars around me setting the pace. Naturally you know what I am talking about. Whether traffic is a little fast, or a little slow, the surrounding vehicles determine the speed that you will be going. Safety dictates you conform, within reason, to the flow of traffic around you.
So back to my epiphany. Between my being so lost in thought and there being no "pace car" around me, I was soon going much faster than I should have been, thankfully, I didn't get into trouble by a cop lurking under a viaduct. But I easily could have; and rightfully so. "Sorry officer...I wasn't paying attention." Yeah. That's gonna work.
As is my never ending love of analogy's, The wheels started turning, (Ha ha!) and in true fashion I was comparing this realization to other aspects of my life.
I am fortunate to be surrounded by my own "Pacers". People who love me enough to set boundaries, point out my strengths, and sometimes, my shortcomings. These people keep me honest, and hold a mirror to me when I most need it. Sometimes I dont like what has to be said, but know that it is needed.
Now I realize that what I am saying can easily be misconstrued to seem as though I am saying I need people to tell me what to do. I do NOT mean this at all.
So here is the definition of a pace car...incidentally, also called a Safety car. New spin, eh?

In motor sport, a safety car or pace car is a car which limits the speed of competing cars on a racetrack in the case of a caution period such as a major accident or obstruction on the track. During a caution period the safety car enters the track ahead of the leader.

Sometimes in life we need to be reeled in. We need others to help us set boundaries when we ourselves are incapable for whatever reason. Be it emotional distress, or are just in the throes of a plain ol' selfish spurt.
It is not lost on me the great love those brave souls who dare pull in front of me have. While it is easy to tell someone how well they are doing, what great strides they are making, it is never easy to tell someone that they are in great danger of hurting themselves or others. This is what truly takes love and genuine concern. While it is easy to say "I'm sorry, can I help?" It takes a real friend to say, "No. This is wrong."
These courageous souls are my pacers. They see the "caution period" I am in, and hop in front of me to make sure I don't drive headfirst into calamity. Courageous? Yes. I dont handle criticism with a great deal of grace, however, I recognize true friendship for what it is, and love will always soften the blow.
Real love does not support self destruction. I heard this recently and it has left an indelible impression on me. The people who care most will always have you succeed. And make no mistake, when you suffer, so do those who really care. And hopefully they care enough to risk alienation from you rather then see you hit a wall and go up in flames. That, is real love.

Henry Ward Beecher:
It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.